Sunday, November 11, 2007


I'm in a blue mood today; which is disappointing.

Bad news, bad news, come to me where I sleep.

Had a grand old day yesterday; pottered about at home, actually getting a few things done, which is unusual. Then in the eve, out with an old friend, for a slightly surreal evening. First, multi-national big band jazz, in an historic town. Then we slipped out to a local pub for beer, and encountered an energetic four piece rock covers band. Oh, and a late licence. The pub patrons were an interesting bunch, who really did dance like no-one was watching. Took a bit of getting used to. But a grand old time... except.

My heart is lost. I am infatuated by someone new. Since my beloved left me to the NHS, I have been solo Shroom. It's probably what I deserve. But I am head over heels, intoxicated, can't get enough of her. So, consequently, every time I'm anywhere near her, I fall apart.

I think she knows. And I think she doesn't feel the same way. But maybe...
I guess we're pretty good friends, and I am torn between preserving the status quo, and playing my hand, terrified I'll fall flat, and that'll be all she wrote. But maybe... she's waiting for me to make the first move..? Every time I even think about it, all marrow, all moral fibre deserts me...

I am pathetic. But she is fabulous...

Then today I heard more bad news. It really puts my 'bad news' into perspective. Two of my very good friends have run afoul of the occasional shitstorms that life throws at you. It seems unlikely that either of them read this, but maybe they know someone, who knows someone, etc, who might.

So, no details,

But it's put a real downer on me. I feel oddly disconnected from life. It seems more unfair than usual.

I can only wish them well, and try to be around a bit more for them, for what it's worth.

Lastly, today we remembered the dead. Whether they agreed, or understood fully what was asked of them, they offered a sacrifice beyond what most of us can comprehend. We should never forget.


rlbates said...

Wishing you well.

DrShroom said...

Thanks; feel like I'm headin' for a fall, tho'

make mine trauma said...

Sorry about your friends, perhaps all the more reason to say what you feel to Her. If you are old and dear friends, I suspect you will remain so, no matter what Her response. If you say nothing and neither does she, each waiting for the other, then nothing is what you both will gain.