High Days And Holidays

Spent the weekend feeling a bit sorry for myself, while trying to have fun with LBF. Sick role avoidance. She had schoolwork to do - for those of you that think teachers have it easy, don't forget the marking. Oh, the humanity.

Anyway, worksheets planned, books checked, we deployed to the supermarket where I fulfilled my stereotype by grumbling and generally acting like a 2 year old. LBF was very tolerant, as usual.

We then whiled away a few happy hours watching a programme called 'Watch Me Showing Off', or 'If I Bend Over You Can See What I Had For Breakfast', or something. There was dancing in it, anyway, but I lost the thread when one of the first dancers elected to wear a pair of hotpants so small they barely deserved the name.

Then Schlingo appeared, just in time for a new horror of a dating programme on ITV, unleashing a volley of commentary so sharply honest regarding the contestants, I was in danger of soiling myself laughing.

And then to pub. Beer was drunk, and I didn't vomit, which you'd normally think ought not to count as an achievement, but the Quad-Cocktail I'm on makes it a bit more challenging. I briefly tried my hand at limbo, but aren't as good at it as I remember. Go figure.

Sadly, at the end of the evening, there was no chicken. Although considering the relationship I have with my gut at the mo', this may have been for the best.

The next day was LBF's Poppa's birthday. A grand spread, much laughter. Good time had by all. LBF was moderately put out, when I suggested she likes the art of conversation. The spark for this perhaps unwise observation was her unleashing a comment, a propos of nothing, about her mum vomiting on her dad. She took slightly against me when I passed comment, remarking that we spent many comfortable silences together.

'Only', quipped I, 'when you're asleep'

While this was not massively popular on the LBF side of the car, my point was slightly proven when, on the return journey, she tried for comfortable silence, and fell asleep.

She may just be perfect.