19th Nervous Breakdown

I'm afraid it has all caught up with me. Maybe you do have to hit rock bottom. I think I may have done just that.

Whether I can climb back up again...

Time will tell.

For now, I have been fired in the crucible, and found wanting.

I'm sorry.

I hope it doesn't end this way...

30 Day Song Challenge 30

30: Your Favourite Song This Time Last Year.

Damned if I can remember.

It might have been this.

Seriously. Who remembers stuff like this?

Really Bored

But this was just too much fun to ignore; I've got a lot of time for this guy - Mighty Mike. Check his site, it's (now) in my blogroll...

Yes, I'm Bored

But is that Marc Bolan, Ronnie Wood and Elton all in the same video? Plus, I reallly love Bowie. And his son's films aren't too shabby, either...

Random Finds

I might have posted this before; I dunno.

I can't believe they didn't win...

30 DSC Day 29

29: A Song From Your Childhood

Define childhood. As a wee nipper, it might have been more Neil Diamond. So; two selections, one inherited from Ma and Pa, and one from my tween years.

Encore Une Fois

Best I can come up with, but a video that speaks redemption, and isn't Redemption Song. Listened to this far too much when revising for my membership (the third time, when I finally passed... so maybe no bad thing)

Further Interlude

Still can't think of a song that makes me feel guilty; I'm sure there must have been songs playing when I've been up to no good, doing things that I should be ashamed of, that should make me feel guilty.

I appear to have successfully blotted them out of my mind.

I feel guilty about a variety of things; it comes with the territory of a Catholic upbringing, and I suspect this is not the forum for me to go over them. It would make terribly dull reading.

I might as well tell you how much my back hurts today.

(More than usual)

I am struggling to shake the memory of the epistaxis patient who arrested on my watch. Could I have done more? Could anyone?

We'll never know. There's no reset button, no save point to return to. I've looked.

You just have to plough on, apparently.

I really need a break.

Or some therapy.

30 DSC Day 28

28: A Song That Makes You Feel Guilty.

Nope.

Nothing springs to mind.

I'll think on it. (I'm scribing this two weeks in advance)

30 DSC Day 27

27: A Song You Wish You Could Play

Applies to almost all the songs thusfar listed. In fact, I like to be able to play any song.

As the old gag goes, I'd give my right arm to be able to play guitar like this.

30 DSC Day 26

26: A Song That You Can Play On An Instrument.

Cupboard is bare again, I'm afraid. Can't play, for toffee.

30 DSC Day 25

25: A Song That Makes You Laugh.

Scant pickings. I'll offer two; one a 'proper' song, the other intentionally comedic.

The Big Chill

In case you were wondering...

30 DSC Day 24

24: A Song You Want Played At Your Funeral

Another one that gave me cause to think. Quite fancied the organ version of Can't Always Get What You Want from The Big Chill.

If you're confused, go find the film, and watch it; you won't be disappointed, and you can play 'Spot Kevin Costner' while you're at it.

Anyway. I chose this.

(There is another live version on YouTube, but I wasn't keen on the sound quality, and this one coincides with the intro to one of my favourite films...)

30 DSC Day 23

23: A Song You Want Played At Your Wedding.

Well... another long list, but this my favourite, right now. (And that doesn't break my no duplicates rule)

Not sure I'd get away with it...

Imagine my surprise when I found this version...

30 DSC Day 22

22: A Song You Listen To When You're Sad.

Too many to count, but this is an oldy, one I used to over-lsten to mourning the break-up of a relationship.

I can still smell her perfume when I hear this song. I think (hope) she's happy now. Most of my exes seem to be. Maybe I'm a pit stop on the road to happiness.

Yes, I know, I'm wallowing

30 DSC Day 21

21: A Song You Listen To When Happy.

Add your own punchline.

Happy or sad, this song always cheers me up; another great talent gone too soon.

Shaking What You've Got

Another interlude. Typing on my iPhone, so may be shorter than usual. It's awkward, and the events herein upset me.

On how things go wrong, and on not knowing.

The patient, hypothetical as always, might have been middle aged and in renal failure requiring regular dialysis. Imagine they present with a nosebleed. These are the patients who carry a burden of hindsight with them. It is neatly packaged, and in my experience you won't see it unless you're careful.

Patients with open fractures, overdoses, an overcrowded Paeds Department: all of these things might get in your way, might cloud your vision.

Suppose the bleeding starts again. It's obviously vigourous; despite packing, blood continues to flow freely, from the other nostril and from the mouth, obviously coursing down the back of the nasopharynx. Threatening to choke her, but not quite making good on this threat.

Imagine you can't see anything to cauterise; more packs? A foley to tamponade posterior bleeding? Something I've not done much of. Will it make it worse?

Patient is stable; call ENT. You will tell yourself it makes the most sense; you have other patients, this one is ok (now) and needs an expert.

Half an hour later, you're bagging the patient; the airway resembles an abattoir. The tube goes in ok, and maybe 10 minutes of CPR will get him back.

But your patient came with a nosebleed, and arrested while you watched.

Could I have done more? Should I have?

I feel like I'm burning out

These patients, hypothetical as they are, are the ones that will challenge your very soul.

If you still have one.

30 DSC Day 20

20: A Song You Listen To When You're Angry

Well; no Fooling. I don't really have any of these. Plenty of songs I listen to when I'm Sad; but no angry playlist. I ummed and aahed about choosing something by Rage Against The Machine, or Metallica (One, probably). Or Nirvana?

But settled on this, instead.

It's an angry song, at least.

Sung by another (dead) guy I have a little man-crush on.