Saturday, December 01, 2007

Untitled

Silly o'clock on a Saturday morning. I've been awake since two, staring at the clock. Bugger.

A fresh day awaits me, replete with all the detritus that Big Teaching Hospital can throw at me. Weekend days are a little like nights, inasmuch as you're pretty much on your own. And busy. My nights have thrown my body clock off, hence my nocturnal roamings.

Had dinner with her again last night. Am equally sure, in equal measures, that I love her, and that she doesn't love me. Still, her friendship enriches me. I feel better for it, even if my soul aches. I wonder if, deep down, I know this is for the best. I am around so little, and our paths so divergent, that I wonder if we could ever be anything more. Perhaps, on some level I prefer it this way. Unrequited love... All the ache, none of the mess? Maybe I'm not explaining it right; I'm hopeless.

I've basically spent the last two days asleep; hence nil to blog. I'm pleased to see my friend blogging; I think he'll find it helpful. Therapeutic. Some shit like that.

I almost saw an accident recently, which was odd. I was at a petrol station, buying petrol, as one does. As I was going to get back into my car, I heard a loud crack noise. Not quite a bang, or a crash, but you get the idea. By the time I turned around, it was all over. A car had wrapped itself around the signpost for the petrol station. I had real trouble getting my brain to accept that all was still. That it had all happened. Although I could rationalise that by the time I'd heard the noise, it was all over, so by the time I'd turned round all would be quiet, it didn't seem to make any sense.

Go figure.

They guys in the car were ok; I think even the car wasn't too beat up. But the physics of it confused me. Still does, I think.

Random? For sure, but what did you expect at 5 in the a.m?

Oh, and fucking Mo'vember is over, and the Mo is gone.

9 comments:

cherrypicker said...

You must and I mean must tell her how you feel mate. There is nothing to lose. If its not reciprocated no loss if it is bingo, love is in the air and all that.

Cherrypicker

Faith Walker said...

That was heartbreaking shroom! Please tell her!

Also, I'm so sorry about the death of the Mo'. I expect to see some photos please!

Faith Walker said...

That was heartbreaking shroom! Please tell her!

Also, I'm so sorry about the death of the Mo'. I expect to see some photos please!

river said...

“almost saw an accident recently...”

I suggest that you rather see her accidentally frequently.

Baby Blue Pyjamas said...

Dr Australian larger did in fact go to Gloster. Am I that transparent? Woe is me.

Harry said...

Play it cool for now shroom, but don't doubt yourself too much.

missbliss said...

I once heard a huge crack, turned and in a split second a man fell on the floor dead on the pavement behind me. A car had driven into a signpost (saying - 'unloading only' or something equally prohibitive of the car being there in the first place), the signpost fell directly onto the passing man's head and killed him outright. He was just out walking with his wife and then he was dead.

Thankfully noone was killed in you instance, but I know too well the feeling of bewilderment. I often think about what happened - did the driver go to prison for example?

Woah, heavy stuff!

DrShroom said...

Thanks for the advice y'all; and to Miss Bliss for a proper a proper there but for the grace of God type story

Chrysalis Angel said...

Can't advise with so little to go on. There is a time to tell them and a time to be careful to guard your heart. Timing is always a factor too..sometimes we think it's the right one and it is not. Other times it is, but not in the time and place you'd like. You might be thrown together again - when it is right.

On another note..A very good mini series has started - if you can get it, watch Tin Man, I think you would like it. It's really good. It's on the SciFi channel on Sunday -I think. It's starting over from the beginning. Let me know if you like it.