The written part of my exams have been and gone, and I passed. It feels like an anti-climax, something that ha sbeen weighing heavily on every aspect of my life for almost a year; still, at least, as Colossus put it, I didn't "fuck it up at the first hurdle"
I now have parts 2 and 3 to come, and remian pessimistically sure that I'll fuck oneof them up. Even if I don't, my contract runs out in January, and i really haven't figured out where I want to work next / for the rest of my life yet.
I have also gone full circle, and back to South Coast General, where I started my Specialist Training. The all seem pleased to see me, which makes me wonder what I did right the first time around, and fills me with fear that I can only be a crushing disappointment this time around.
South Coast General is busy. I had forgotten quite how busy. South Coast Teaching was busy, and I had thought the two were comparable.
They aren't.
I'm not sure that it's just numbers; I'm sure that ED footprint size makes a difference. SCG is much smaller, and although they have a brand new Hospital bolted on, beds always seem in short supply. Staffing, although better than when I started, is, I suspect, still inadequate.
Whatever the causes, SCG is busy, and the pressure is, as ever, to meet the targets. It makes me uncomfortable; I really feel that all the patients I see are getting about three quarters the work up they should get, in order to feed to time target monster.
This can't be right; I don't believe it's how it should be, and I think it's only going to get worse.
1 comment:
Do you not tell the paper pushers to fuck off? Admittedly I'm a junior, but I give my patients the workup I think they need, because until I actually lay hands on them, I have no ethical responsibility to them (unless they're actively dying), whereas I do have a responsibility to do a good job for those with my name on them.
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